Cabin in the Woods Army of Monsters
by lorenzovanmatterhorn
Summary: So what happens after that huge demonic hand erupts from the ground and destroys the cabin? Let's find out shall we...?


Description; always been a big Joss Whedon fan and huge fan of this film, great conceit to explain every single horror film in history and mock their cliches. But wasn't so sure about the ending, a finale which seemed out of odds with all his other works. Here we see what happens next...

Rating; PG

Disclaimer; this is purely a fanfic work of fiction, I do not own anything and this is purely an internet work for free distribution, I do not own anything and it all belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I make no profit from it, do not charge anything for it and there is no commercial aspect to this whatsoever.

Cabin in the Woods; Army of Monsters

"Come on!" yelled Lin running past Dana and Marty. Ronald the intern followed her, still wielding his shotgun and cartridge belt, both still splattered with the blood of the tentacle monster, the sucker marks clearly visible on Lin's skin. Dana and Marty looked at one another and then sprang to their feet and followed them down the corridor, Marty helping Dana as they ran, the sacrificial chamber collapsing behind them as they went. Eventually they emerged into a huge parking garage where Lin and Ronald were hunkered down beside an ancient looking tan coloured car.

"What the hell are you doing?" Marty yelled. "Let's grab some wheels and get the hell out of here!"

Lin didn't even look up from the leather bound book she was reading and chanting from. Ronald grabbed a fireaxe from the wall and thrust it into Marty's hands. "There's nowhere to run. Our only hope is to use the spell in the book to send the evils back in time, they didn't have any physical form back then"

"Why the hell didn't you do that in the first place!?" Marty demanded, dumping Dana down beside the car's wheel causing her to grunt in pain.

"If we send them back they could wipe out makind back then" Lin snapped, "Change the future so we wouldn't exist at all. But now it's our only chance!"

Marty traded a look with Dana. She nodded and even managed to give him a slight smile through the pain of her injuries. He stood side by side with Ronald as the zombies flooded into the parking garage, the pair ruthlessly slaughtering them using the axe and shotgun.

Another zombie emerged from the door. Marty had time to realise that it looked different from the others as he raised the axe to decapitate it, as though it was wearing some form of skin mask. In the moment he took to comprehend the chainsaw his hand was lying in a bloody mess on the ground. He collapsed beside Dana as Marty blew the chainsaw wielding psychopath away, holding the bloody stump as Dana struggled to bandage it.

A swirling mass of light began to take shape in the middle of garage.

"It's working!" Ronald yelled to Lin "You're doing it!"

The giggling clown lunged at him out of darkness, the kitchen knife gleaming wickedly in his hand. He blasted it with the shotgun but the buckshot passed harmlessly through him, Ronald flailing helplessly as the clown stabbed him repeatedly. Marty surged forwards, knocking the knife out of the evil manifestation's hand with the axe. It surged towards him, baring a row of razor sharp looking teeth, Marty slashing frantically with the axe but losing it in the struggle. In desperation he reached up and ripped off the bright red spongeball in the middle of the apparition's face. Light flooded from the cavity it left and the demon screamed frenziedly as it disappeared into nothing.

"GOT YOUR NOSE!" Marty quipped, tossing it to one side. He checked on Ronald who was quite dead, Marty stripping him of the shotgun and cartridge belt. He looked into the centre of the garage where the light show was getting stronger and stronger, the wind picking up as a vortex began to appear in the centre.

"Keep doing it, keep going" he encouraged.

He turned at the sound of the screams in time to see the molesting tree grab Dana and haul her away. He slung the shotgun and picked up the chainsaw, too late for Dana but able to save Lin, cutting free the groping branches surrounding her body, causing the demon to retreat with its' prize. Lin took a second then went right back to reading from the leather book. For the first time Marty noticed what looked like someone's face embossed on the cover.

Other creatures emerged into the parking garage but were sucked into the vortex, losing their forms and blending into one amorphous mass as they did so. Inanimate objects started to be dragged towards it too, Marty holding on to the car Lin knelt beside it to stop himself being pulled in, cradling the chainsaw in the crook of his handless arm, hooking the carrying handle around the bandages on his stump.

Lin suddenly stopped chanting. Marty turned in time to see an evil looking little black doll with a toothy sharp white grin plunge the clown's knife into her back.

"YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed, emptying the shotgun at it and slashing with the chainsaw when he ran out of ammo. It was too quick for him however and ran off laughing into the dark recesses of the garage. Marty crouched beside Lin, reloading the shotgun.

"Zuni...fetish...doll" she gasped. "Flowers...kill it with flowers, herbs…anything like that"

"Where am I going to get...?" he managed to ask before the doll threw itself at him out of nowhere, stabbing furiously, slicing his flesh. He kicked it off and as it advanced towards him threw the leaves of his stash towards it. It howled as the cannabis leaves struck it then glowed and disintegrated.

"Yeah, how'd you like that? My own private strain! Too strong for you?" he smirked.

He turned to Lin as she collapsed, uttering one last word as she did so. The vortex now consumed the entire garage, sucking evil creatures great and small into it but blocking every avenue of escape for him. He grabbed on to the tan car with his one remaining hand, wedging the stump of his other arm in the carrying handle of the chainsaw. He kept his grip on the car but it too was sucked into the whirling mass of energy, Marty catching a glimpse of huge hellgods drifting through glowing abyss and melding with it.

Then the world went black.

He picked himself and looked around, unslinging the shotgun and wearing the chainsaw as the world's most deadly wrist bracelet. The evil creatures were gone and he was alone in a desert like environment. He leaned against the car and struck up a cigarette, noticing for the first time its' make.

'OLDSMOBILE'

He suddenly became aware he was surrounded by a group of knights on horseback. One raised his visor and exclaimed "Hail he who has come from the skies to rid us of the unspeakabe evil!"

"Now wait a second...!" exclaimed Marty.

"Hail!" chanted the knights, "Hail! Hail!"


End file.
